July 2008
3 posts
You're the one
Setting... wife is scrubbing a toilet as I walk by the bathroom.
Wife: Do the duck, rubber duck, do the rubber duck. Do the duck, rubber duck, do the rubber duck. Do the duck, rubber duck, do the rubber duck. Do the duck, duck, rubber duck, do the rubber duck...
Both end situation
Setting... the wife suddenly turns the light on, sneezes in my direction, and immediately turns off the light.
Husband: What the hell? Why did you turn on the light?
Wife: I had to sneeze.
Husband: *puzzled*
Wife: When I sneezed, it made me fart, too.
Husband: *uses hands to simulate how a sneeze and a fart come out*
Sudden violence
Wife: I'm going to paper cut your legs with your own birth certificate.