Same great service. Different location.
Conversations between a husband and wife.
| Setting... Chatting with wife on IM. | |
| Husband: | that would make 3 ways with people easier |
| Husband: | male, female, inbetweener |
| Setting... Texts I've received from my wife today. | |
| Wife: | Oh my god so much shit |
| Wife: | The boy spat up into his nose so i had to suction. Then he sneezed and sneezed out a big loooong booger |
| Wife: | My poo smells like the babys poo |
| Setting... Having dinner at a local, Chinese restaurant. | |
| Husband: | *takes out chopsticks, sees splinters, and scrapes the chopsticks together* |
| Wife: | You aways do that. |
| Husband: | No, I don't. I only did it this time because there were splinters. |
| Wife: | No, you ALWAYS do it. Stop lying, all the time. |
| Husband: | I swear, I rarely do it. |
| Wife: | No. |
| Husband: | Trust me. I've been with myself more than you have. |
| Wife: | ...hahaha. |
| Setting... Watching a "Hydroxycut" commercial. | |
| Wife: | Did you know that they had to change the formula for hydroxycut because it killed people. |
| Husband: | *pulling his attention away from the laptop, and looks at the TV* Jeezi-cut. Uhhh... |
| Wife: | Hahahahaha! |
| Husband: | I meant Jesus Christ... |
| Setting... Changing baby's diaper. | |
| Husband: | This sounds weird, but I've wanted to kiss him on the lips. |
| Wife: | I KNOW! |
| Husband: | I know it's wrong, but I just love him so much. |
| Hours later... | |
| Wife: | Maybe we should just do it once. |
| Husband: | No! |
| Setting... Talking to wife days after her c-section. | |
| Husband: | Can I f*** your incision? I want to ejaculate straight into your uterus. |
| Setting... Looking at the baby. | |
| Wife: | Look at his cute little toes. |
| Husband: | There's six of them! |
| Wife: | What?! Oh... F*** you. |
| Setting... Sitting on the bed, while the wife is breastfeeding on the rocking chair. | |
| Wife: | I've got these great nipples for sucking. |
| Husband: | Tell him that again in 20 years. |
| Baby fusses, and doesn't latch on. | |
| Wife: | What're you, gay? |
| Setting... Newborn is sleeping on wife's chest. | |
| Wife: | His mouth looks like a cock'n'balls. |
| Husband: | *in disbelief* Huh? |
| Wife: | His mount looks like a cock'n'balls. |
| Husband: | *gets up to verify* You mean that and that? *pointing* |
| Wife: | Yeah. |
